Many people are happy to help others. They agree to take part in moving, cleaning, and even in the smallest detail they invariably come to the rescue. To the detriment of their interests and personal time. The inability to say “no” actually causes a lot of inconveniences and difficulties, especially at the workplace.
At times it seems that by saying no, we hurt the person and he will no longer ask for help. Internal discomfort and contradictions push us to say “yes” again, although there may not be enough time to help the other person. As a result, we drive ourselves into a psychological dead end. Below is a selection of basic steps in the art of saying no: seven rules and three tactics for neglected cases.
Table of Contents
1. VALUE YOUR TIME
Clearly define your workload and professionalism-it’s easier to see how much your time is worth, at work and beyond. When someone wants to challenge you with a new case, try it on mentally in your daily schedule, and, if it takes more than two minutes to think about it, say no. You’re already loaded to the brim – so explain the situation.
2. OUTLINE YOUR PRIORITIES
If you occasionally have some free time – on a rare weekend or weekday evening – that’s no reason to donate it to anyone unwilling to cope unassisted. Are you committed to trading a long-awaited holiday with your partner or family for whatever someone requests of you?
3. PRACTICE
Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to practice refusals. Occasionally, repeating the magic phrase is the only way to discourage extremely persistent individuals. Stand your ground; eventually, they’ll realize you’re not kidding.
4. DO NOT APOLOGIZE
It’s a typical mistake to start your rejection by saying, “I’m sorry, but…” because you hope it sounds polite. Maybe, but it’s not worth the trouble to crush that apologetic tone – you won’t notice how quickly you’ll be reassured to agree. You have to be firm and adamant about protecting your time, there’s nothing to apologize for.
5. DON’T BE NICE
Being nice is risky, and being nice to everyone is dangerous – up to the complete nullification of private life. And the easier it is for people to grab your time the more willing they will be to do it. But if they realize that you’ve set up a hard barrier against leaks of excessive kindness, they’ll switch to easier targets.
6. SAY NO TO THE BOSS
Not true, this doesn’t mean that you’re completely out of hand in asserting your micro-freedom. First of all, it wasn’t in your contract. Secondly, by imposing too many obligations on you, management is risking the quality of your work. If they want to add tasks, let them determine when you will solve the ones you have already had. At the same time and for the same pay, no thanks.
7. ACT PROACTIVELY
Sometimes preventing an upcoming task is better than refusing to do it. If you know you’re going to be approached with a request, it makes sense to take the initiative and announce (at the flyer or lunch): “Guys, just so you know – this week I’m fully staffed, I can’t spare an hour.”