Everyone has faced criticism from others at least once. The evaluative judgments of others can be painful. But often we become our own worst enemy. We treat ourselves too harshly. This can come from childhood and has to do with overly strict and demanding parents. That period of life is behind us, but the negative habits still poison our lives. Here are some effective ways to communicate with your inner critic.
Is There a Benefit to Self-criticism?
Scolding ourselves for our shortcomings, we want to become better. However, there is a difference between analyzing your mistakes and self-criticism. Internal criticism can help you achieve your goals and keep you from doing negative things. But if your attitude toward yourself has begun to take on a toxic character, it’s worth stopping this behavior.
If a mistake is made or the desired result isn’t achieved, it’s much more effective to support yourself, rather than scold. Concentrate on the positive aspects. Think about what your actions in this situation deserve praise. And then analyze what you need to change in your behavior.
To combat destructive self-criticism, distinguish it from an objective assessment. Self-criticism has the following features:
- The demands one makes on oneself are unrealistic. For example, you think you must earn $5,000 for betting at 22 Bet exactly after creating your account. But that’s impossible, as you don’t even know strategies and how to implement them.
- Self-mobilization is accompanied by a sense of devastation, apathy, and a lack of desire to move forward.
- The person devalues all his achievements. He never considers himself good enough.
- Self-mobilization inhibits all activity. The person constantly seems that he is not ready, something in himself still needs to improve. Because of this, he misses all opportunities.
A toxic attitude toward oneself kills the desire to act. However, the thought process can be controlled.
Get on Your Side
People who have compassion for themselves endure difficult life situations more easily and treat others better. It’s time for you to join their camp, too. Stop taking your inner critic’s words at face value. Ask yourself: “Is this true? Where’s the proof? Is what I think my personal opinion or did I hear it from other people?” Remember that you are capable of creating your own ideas about yourself.
It’s impossible to get something out of your head without replacing it with something else. If you need to get rid of negative thoughts, make sure that positive ones take their place. Create a new positive image of yourself. Write a list of your good qualities and read it daily. Emphasize those inner voices that encourage you.
Stop being a tyrant to yourself. If something unpleasant happened, show empathy. Imagine a close friend. Think about what he might say in that situation. Praise yourself more often. You have not achieved what you want? Say, “But I … (this can be any achievement).” Learn to thank yourself even for small things.
Introduce your inner critic as an interlocutor, nurture him or her. You can even set up a chair for more realism. When the inner voice starts to bark at you again, fight back. Being able to object to your inner critic will help you resist external attacks as well. It’s hard to break up an unhealthy relationship when you think you’re a failure. A new self-perception will lead to a change of attitude from those around you as well.
Do You Know Yourself Well?
Society demands achievement from us. Looking at our social media profiles makes us feel less successful than others. Often people get hung up on only one side of life. Because of constant self-injury, they begin to perceive themselves in a limited way. To get rid of this, seek help from friends. Let them tell you what kind of person they see you as. It is important to seek the opinions of well-meaning people.
Understand that your value is not just limited to success. A person can be generous and warmhearted, but not particularly accomplished in their career. What do you like to do? You might be good at dancing or making things with your hands. If you can’t say anything like that about yourself, try getting a hobby. Creativity, new activities can help you switch gears.
Stop criticizing yourself will help a thorough analysis of your thoughts. Examine which of them belong to you, and which you just broadcast, having heard them once from others. When we criticize ourselves, we often use the arguments of others. Try speaking the stream of thought by recording it on a tape recorder. Then listen to it and evaluate it.
How to Get Rid of the Inner Critic
Self-criticism has never made anyone happy. Here are some effective ways to get rid of it:
- Start a diary and write down your thoughts and emotions there. Phrases written down on paper become more tangible. It helps to evaluate them objectively. Thanks to this you can understand what criticism helps to move forward and what only hinders.
- Evaluate progress, not results. Have you done something better today than yesterday? That’s already a good thing. Celebrate your achievements daily.
- It will help you learn to be more aware. Practice calms thoughts and develops concentration. One stops identifying with what one is thinking.
- See mistakes as experiences and lessons. Don’t see them as a reason to beat yourself up. Do not attack yourself, but think about how to avoid doing the same thing in the future.
- Stop looking down on others. Many people just hide their failures, because it is not customary to talk about it. Successful people also failed before achieving impressive results.
- Set boundaries. Insulting the other person, we may face condemnation. However, your inner dialogue is hidden from others. This can lead to permissiveness. Determine what you can say to yourself and what is off limits.
If you practice regularly, you will see results after a while. You deserve to be treated well by others and by yourself. Constant work on yourself will make you your ally, not your enemy. It will help you get rid of destructive self-criticism.